It has been a rough day in windy, blustery Wyoming! Our attempt at trying to move the 3 pigs and the 3 goats we were selling went much awry. Keep reading for the story.
Not much writing has taken place today on our lovely Darkness Awakening.
For those of you who haven't been following my #writingjourney on Facebook, this story has been bouncing around my brain for ages and it has been a journey indeed. My dear friend, Sarah Noffke, gave me some sound advice recently. If you haven't read her awesome books (YA Urban Fantasy - dragons, great friendships, and a little bit of snark) go check her out here, https://www.amazon.com/Sarah-Noffke/e/B00QQC5PFQ
As she said during her completely inspiring speech during the 20Booksto50K conference this last November - "Sit your butt in that chair if you have the passion and drive to write." I am paraphrasing here but I decided - that's it! I am doing THIS! I am getting my stories down and sharing them with the world.
And in the meantime, I am going to share with you all the journey that this is going to take me on. You can see where this will take me and maybe for some of you who have that lovely beast, Imposter Syndrome, perched on your shoulder. Maybe you can see that this journey is possible for you too. Or who knows, maybe you will just enjoy reading about my impossibly ridiculous life.
So quick synopsis - we have goats. I want to completely exaggerate and say we have a million of them but we only have 23. But when you have up to 80 MPH gusts and blowing snow causing blizzard conditions and 3 boys of varying sizes 'helping' you and your husband wrangle the damnable things - well it seems like a million of them. https://capcity.news/community/2021/12/11/blizzard-warning-extended-for-some-areas-of-southeast-wyoming-until-sunday-morning-85-mph-gusts-expected/
So here we are - in the middle of the Wyoming high plains desert - in blizzard conditions - trying to wrangle pigs and goats. The 3 pigs knock my 5 foot 4-inch chubby rear-end over multiple times while my poor husband tries his best to basically wrangle them on his own.
Ah, you are waiting with held breath to see the outcome? No don't worry, it didn't work, trust me. It never works. I tell my husband I have a curse - it is that my life is never boring. It is always interesting - but things never 'quite' work out for me. After 20 years he is finally beginning to understand what I meant by that cryptic remark.
So after we gave up and herded each of the 200 lbs. of bacon and pork chops back into their barn and corral we turn our attention to the goats. Ah yes, the goats. My nemeses.
Of course, the media has painted such a sweet picture of these darling animals have they not? Nay, nay I say. They are creatures of the most mischievous and nefarious nature. They will do everything except that which you want them to do at all times.
Go in the barn? Of course not! Go in the pen? Ha! Go in the trailer? Double ha! By this time, my temper has frayed and my fingers and face are numb. The wind chill is in the double-digit negatives, my glasses are bent and covered in ice. Meh...who needs to see after all?
I finally convince my husband that his lovely wife is indeed a brilliant strategist and to put sweet feed in the trailer. If you know anything about this stuff it is like the most addictive drug ever to animals. A little goes a looooong way. I swear to goodness our goats act like they are strung out when they smell this stuff in the buckets.
"Oh, darling sweet strong husband. Just pour a bucket in the trailer and then I will close the trailer up with you inside and then we will open the tiny door of the trailer and you can get out the ones we are not selling and then we will have saved the day."
Yeah, if you know me this is not how I talk at all. The F-bomb was used and it was a lot more abrupt. Use your imagination I am sure you can figure out a more entertaining conversation instead. But the gist of the plan is there. I was also tempted to just close him and the goats in the trailer and go home but I do digress.
So at this point, I am ready to GO HOME. Let's get this over with, buddy boy. I have words to write for goodness sake. So we do it - we throw sweet feed into the trailer and holy mother of goats! The entire fracking herd rushes the trailer.
I am hiding by the front of the trailer and as soon as all three goats we want are in the trailer, my husband and I RUSH the trailer like ninja linebackers and slam the door shut.
So then it is FINALLY over. Just the drive back through blizzard conditions back to the house - which to be honest is par for the course in Wyoming.
Now I am back home with three perfectly happy goats hanging out in my yard in the trailer and we just found out the guy we were supposed to deliver them to tomorrow can't meet us so we are taking them back out to our property tomorrow. So it was all for naught!
But this, dear readers, is an introduction to the craziness that is my life! Check back in at least once a week for an update on my writing journey and the craziness going on!